Under-standing Supernova
“A star is in the balance between two opposite forces. The star's gravity tries to squeeze the star into the smallest, tightest ball possible. ... The collapse happens so quickly that it creates enormous shock waves that cause the outer part of the star to explode!”
I spend a lot of time
wondering if I’m worthy
Smart, kind, talented
And I can’t explain it
I can’t explain everything
I understand
Not without falling-
Not without getting upset
Getting upset
“You’re not going to fall apart, you’re going to get upset"
I don’t know what I need
But people keep asking
I don’t know what I need
But I can see what others do
I try to be that for them
I try to do all of that at my expense
We know that
We can read about it
We can write that down
And look at it
But I can’t explain how I love them
I can’t explain how it hurts to love them
I can’t explain how much I understand
Compared to most people
And even though I’m identifying a duality
I think it’s my gift
A gift and a curse
For my intelligence
To manifest in understanding
But you can’t tell the people in the cave
That they’re looking at shadows
I can’t feel less scared of my own
The sky…
With us always
A peaceful reservoir whenever you want it
Need it
It’s a clear blue right now
I loved her
I loved all of them
Every dark, light force in my universe
And I think I miss feeling whole
I think the betrayals spark fresh tears
Because I see the light being squashed by the shadow
And there’s a profound grief
A profound grief, in witnessing it
And seemingly often being the only one who does
Living not here or there because of it
Not being able to hold anyone responsible
Understanding what is
Seeing the other path anyway
And knowing
Feeling the tragedy
The helplessness
That we’re on this one, this path
And understanding is not the power for change
Maybe it is
Maybe one day
My heart cries out to the stars
"Only fools are not afraid," she said
"and I give you your faults...
You may find they’re very useful here"